So I am usually not at a loss for words, but when I first read about this weeks’ topics, I wondered what in the world can I say? Then I saw this picture on my FB page and decided this would be a perfect topic, somehow anyway. Then throughout the week, the mess of my marriage became my thought pattern for this topic. From this mess that I am in to what God is doing to turn it into a beautiful masterpiece. I was so excited to share how God was moving and making changes in my life, using Limitless Life in application to what we are studying through church to fix our marriage. How these labels we have read and learned about are actually what is causing our marriage differences. Then I watched a video and the horror of watching a young woman (in foreign country, not sure which one) beating a little baby, broke my heart so much, that my problems seemed so small compared to what this baby was having to endure. She was hitting him with a pillow, slapping him, kicking him, hitting him with what looked like a phone, pinching him. What made it even more horrible was that there was a little boy in the room watching. There was also a girl, not quite sure if it was an adult or another child and the person making the recording. In that moment, I imagined all the labels this innocent baby, if he survived, would carry for the rest of his life. Afraid-afraid that he is always going to be hit and treated wrongly, addict-he is going to drown out the pain of his life by turning to the streets in the form of drugs and alcohol and anything else that he feels that would take away the pain. Mess-that he will only know that he is a mess because of abuse, physical and emotional, and maybe even sexual. Orphan-never good enough to be loved. Then the Holy Spirit reminded me that God loves that baby so much and that He alone because of the ultimate sacrifice of His Son on the cross, that all of those labels can be removed and replaced with: courageous-as he gets up in front on millions and shares his story to bring someone else to the foot of the cross; free- that the Blood of Jesus Christ has made him free; Masterpiece-because God is going to use him in mighty ways; and finally Adopted-that God will show him what unconditional love really is. As I watched this horribleness, I turned to look at the woman. I saw her hurt and pain and the suffering that she has had to endure. No one becomes an abuser just because they want to be one. They have witnessed it, they have suffered it, they have learned it. I prayed to God for not only protection for that little baby, but healing of this woman, this hurt woman. I never have abused my child or anyone else, but I was a very angry person. I learned to be an angry person because of what happened in my house growing up. I didn’t wake up one morning and decide that I was going to be an angry person. The person that always got angry for everything, however, I did wake up one morning and decide I no longer wanted to be an angry person. I asked God to change the anger in my heart. Did it happen overnight? No! Do I still get angry? Yes. The difference is, now when I get angry, I go to God my Father and ask for forgiveness. I go to the person that I was angry at and ask them to forgive me for being angry. Is this easy for me, no, sometimes it is the hardest thing to do. The woman in the video is doing horrible and malicious things to that baby, but I am reminded that Jesus died on that cross for her as well. He can heal her infirmities and turn the mess she is in and creating in someone else, into a beautiful masterpiece. Is it okay for me to be angry with her, no it is not. Is it okay for me to be angry at what she is doing, no because she is only doing what she knows how to do. Can I be sad for what she is doing? Yes, but I have to give it over to God.
This all returns to the picture I added. My way screams that I want to hit, slap, kick, punch, throw things at her so she can feel what she is doing. God’s way says she already knows how it all feels, because it was done to her. God’s way also says that I loved her so much that I sent My only Begotten Son to suffer at the hands of man, to die a gruesome death on the cross, to walk into the pit of hell and fight the enemy for the rights of all the sinners, past, present and future, and then walk out of the tomb on the third day to show how much I loved her. My way will have me going in circles about this awful video. God’s way says I can and am willing to take this mess and turn it into the Masterpiece I already created!! God’s way is so much better that my way.
Please know that this was not an easy post for me tonight. I hurt for that baby because it was one of the biggest questions I asked God when we were trying to conceive and were told that we might not ever conceive our own child. “God why are there so many babies born just for the abuse that they will suffer at the hands of those who don’t care? God why can those women or young girls have babies and people like me who wants a baby so bad and we could love this baby and give it a good life.” God’s answer, always the same, “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10. Side note, we did finally conceive one baby, my sweet baby boy.
Thank you Father God for the love You have for me. Thank you for the reminder that I am not judge and jury of this young woman. Father, I left her up to you that she will come to a saving grace and know that you are her Father God.. I pray for Your protection on this baby and all the other babies in this same situation. Please forgive me my anger that I directed to this unknown woman who I know nothing about. Please forgive her Father for she knows not what she is doing.